Like most people who don’t live under a rock and have half a mind, I do a lot of talking about the candidates in the upcoming presidential race.

And I don’t mean the candidates that your hermit uncle will write in because he’s “tired of the ever-growing machine” or the no-chance candidates that run on the purity of their morals and a deep, unmovable belief in the constitution.

Stop, let me fantasize about what a race would be like if one of those guys had a legitimate shot … And, we’re moving on.

No, I’m talking about the in-your-face, propaganda-laden, prepared speech, perfect-wife-having, thousand-suits-in-the-closet, processed product men who think the country is theirs to run for the next four years.

None other than John McCain and Barack Obama.

Like most other people, my conversations include just about every thinkable detail about the men, political or otherwise, that can be mustered.

I found myself wondering aloud one day how much reality TV they watch in the average week. It may be strange to you, but everyone has their sticking points, so leave me be.

During the course of a recent conversation, my friend — who is about as liberal as they come — relayed to me a conversation she was having with her husband, who was having a conversation with some of his co-workers.

Confused yet? Thankfully, she wasn’t eating while she was talking.

In this third- or fourth-hand conversation, said husband and his co-workers talked in length about Obama. During that time, not only was the “n-word” dropped, but there was an “uppity” attached to the front of it.

The co-workers, who are black, dropped this phrase repeatedly to the husband, who is white.

Their argument was that a black man, who was Harvard-educated, married a Harvard-educated woman and who talked, walked and dressed the way the way he did could not truly represent the black people of this country.

Surprise, surprise, I was asked what I thought about this theory.

Well, in a way it’s true. Obama doesn’t represent black people in this country. He doesn’t represent very many people in this country, regardless of color.

When you consider that less than 15 percent of people in this country are college educated, no, he’s no spokesperson in that respect.

The vast majority of folks in this country are neither qualified nor willing to be president. And they certainly don’t make anywhere close to six-figure salaries. So, no, he couldn’t be on the “Average Joe” billboard, either.

In an age where people want to send text messages with butchered English and use a slang term for every possible noun that exists, an articulate man has no business claiming to be “of the people.”

And God forbid that Obama use drugs and later pull away from their addictive powers. Further shame on him for taking an opportunity to attend one of the best schools in the world and marrying another minority who did the same. It’s ludicrous that we should make someone like this the leader of the free world.

How dare he not live up to what those guys think a black man should be simply because that’s the only type of black man they’ve ever known?

Problem is, there are people who think this is only a problem within minority races. In fact, everyone reading this knows someone who would say or do something spiteful against a person for beating odds and expectations, no matter what the skin color.

Lord knows I’m not telling anyone who to vote for, and I’m not defending a person. I’m defending a cause.

It’s purely for selfish reasons, believe me. I was the first person in my family to graduate college, I’ve never given the first thought to doing anything to my truck that will make it shiny or loud and I keep a dictionary within arm’s reach almost all the time.

Although I’ve never heard it to my face, I’m positive someone has called me an “uppity n—–“ at one time or another. If that’s what it is, then that’s what it is.

All I know is I’m living under the shade of the same tree other men were hung from, and I never, ever forget it.