Winter weather a nuisance

Published 9:27 pm Friday, January 24, 2014

Thanks, but no thanks, for showing up winter weather. I was enjoying rolled up sleeves and perhaps even an occasional short-sleeved shirt until you came to town.

Now, I can hardly leave my house without an undershirt, long-sleeved shirt, coat and portable heater.

It was especially cold on Friday. On Friday morning, I got up relatively early, by my standards, to conduct an interview. It was 10 a.m. and the biting wind added to the absolutely frigid temperatures. Within seconds, my hands began to turn red and numb.

I tried to keep my cool and pretend like I wasn’t about to die from a case of frostbite. I put one hand in my pocket and then switched it up.

If my half-frozen red hands, weren’t evidence enough of the frigid temperatures, my breath looked as if I had just finished a boiling hot pot of coffee.

I briefly considered asking my interviewee if they would prefer to take a step inside, but we were nearly done.

It warmed up later in the day, but the sudden cold snap has me thinking that purchasing a few pounds of hand-warmers would be a good idea.

I’ve lived in relatively cold places before, but after spending several years at LSU, in the bayou, my body became accustomed to warmer, more pleasant temperatures.

Last time the weather dipped into the low teens, I battled a stalagmite that had attached itself to my shower floor and broken water pipes that formed a small pond under my house, which subsequently froze over. It would have made a great skating rink, but I’m not nearly short enough or talented at skating to make use of it.

Hopefully, I won’t have to combat any arctic beasts again in the near future. Though, temperatures are expected to dip back into the teens early next week.

I’d like to be able to go running outside again, but truthfully it’s far too cold to even begin thinking about it.

I think we can all agree that cold weather is for the polar bears and penguins, not southerners or Selma residents.

I can’t say with any authority whether this is the coldest winter I’ve ever experienced. In fact, after living in Germany for several years, it certainly isn’t. Here we canceled school because temperatures dropped into the teens. In Germany they only cancel school when salt runs out or snow plows stop functioning.

Though it certainly isn’t the coldest, it may be the least enjoyable. I love the South because of sweet tea, corn bread and southern fried food, not for cold weather. Unfortunately, all we can do is bundle up in blankets and winter coats and hope for warmer days.