Mother Nature is confused

Published 9:43 pm Thursday, January 12, 2012

Mother Nature has proven she is moody this week. One day the weather reminds us of a warm spring day, and the next day it’s time to bundle up again.

Selma weather, like much of south Alabama, is unpredictable. I can recall a Christmas in 1993 that I spent in shorts and a T-shirt.

I can also remember April days when the entire world seemed to be covered in snow.

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Maybe Mother Nature has just become confused in her old age. Luckily, I’m here to help.

I’d like to offer a few suggestions for her to keep the seasons straight. I think most people will be satisfied with the new schedule.

Fall should officially begin when toe meets leather for college football. Upon kickoff for the first game of the season, the leaves should begin to change, temperatures should drop from the 90s to 70s and 80s and there should be a cool breeze blowing.

We don’t need a calendar to establish seasons — we can simply use things that define the seasons.

Winter can begin when the last turkey sandwich from Thanksgiving has been eaten. While there is Thanksgiving, there will still be fall. Of course, as a default, if the turkey sticks around until Dec. 1, winter can automatically kick in. We can’t wait forever.

Spring should begin when baseball and softball teams take the field. No sooner, and no later. I’m tired of seeing Major League Baseball and northern college and high school games snowed out. It’s just not right. Also, don’t forget to provide a strong breeze for the thousands of kite enthusiasts.

And last, but not least, summer should begin when the final bell rings for school. What defines summer more than that?  When students step out of the classroom on the last day of school, they should be greeted with blistering 90-degree temperatures that force them into the closest pool, lake or swimming hole. You’ll need to keep a close ear out as some of the bells are not as loud as they used to be. Some are more of a light buzz these days.

These are just a few suggestions to keep everyone out of sweaters in April and out of shorts in January. Please consider them and bring seasons back to Alabama.