Choose to stand and not fall out

Published 9:28 pm Monday, October 31, 2011

When we stand before the Lord, whether it is in a house of worship, before a Justice of the Peace, or on a sandy beach, we say, “I take you to be my wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part,” we are were making a covenant with the future. A vow to God!

We are also making a vow before those who witness the joining of our lives. On that day everything seems so glamorous.

As married couples, we must accept the fact that our marriages will never be perfect. The only ideal marriage in history was Adam and Eve’s and even they messed up. Their ideal marriage became an ordeal. Eve realized that Adam was not as handsome as she once believed. Adam finally realized that Eve was not as beautiful after she took off all of the cosmetics. After this realization, Adam and Eve hid themselves behind fictitious things. They began to play the blame game for the problems within their marriage. Sound familiar?

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All marriages, even the best of them, from time to time, have problems. After 50 years of marriage, a husband said, he and his wife only had one fight. When he was asked what his secret was, he said, “The fight started on our honeymoon and I’m still waiting on it to end!”

This should not be a surprise. The problem is most of us married over our heads. We entered marriage with undeveloped conflict resolution skills. We don’t know how to fight and still love each other. Instead, sometimes martial warfare takes place in the trenches of hostility and moodiness. At other times, cold wars of stoic silence or guerrilla warfare take place inside of the marriage. Couples fight about vacations, work, the house, in-laws, and even the weather.

Next time conflict arises in your marriage, step back and laugh. Both are imperfect beings, you will have problems but the problems should not have you. Remember, love covers all imperfection.

Love does not reveal the imperfection of your spouse, instead it focuses on the potential that she has. In fact, one wise man said that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. So it is true, beside every good man stands a good wife. Let us choose to stand rather than fall out.