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Wal-Mart management downplays rumors of shutdown

Despite rumors of a hazardous situation at Wal-Mart on Tuesday afternoon, Wal-Mart management says that there is nothing to the rumors.

“Nothing of the sort,” said a member of Wal-Mart management, who identified himself as Edward, in reference to the rumored hazardous situation. “We’ve been getting all kinds of phone calls, but nothing’s going on at Wal-Mart. It’s just business as usual.”