Direct line to the government’s pocket book

Published 8:55 pm Thursday, January 22, 2009

We all can agree on one thing — life is hard enough without other people getting in the way.

Sadly, when we begin to trace major problems the path almost always goes back to money.

Show of hands, who is worried about how big of a tax return they are getting this year? Are you making out a wish list of things to do with that nice, fat check? Or worse, are you making out a list of vital, far less fun projects or items you need to purchase?

Email newsletter signup

New brakes for your car, some work to the house, looming credit card bills.

Can’t hardly win for trying. It’s like trying to bail out a sinking boat in the middle of a raging storm.

So then I got to thinking …

Why don’t we just cut to the chase, cut right through all the tape?

I propose we all donate our money to something meaningful, and I don’t mean individually. Let’s you and me start the first ever “Citizens Donate Directly Fund.”

It’s a unique program that takes the middle man out and makes life easier for everyone.

I say part of the pool of what will likely be billions of dollars should go right to the domestic automobile makers. Why did we let the government take credit for bailing out the Big Three when we could have done it ourselves?

We drive the cars. Eventually, we’re going to get that bailout money taken out of our butts anyway.

I’ve got it all set up. In a couple of days, people will be able to get loans just as easily as ever, and auto manufactures can go back to spending time on the important stuff. Things like developing better warmers for minivan cup holders and putting Ipod players inside wheel rims. It’s a handy feature should that unexpected flat occur.

Don’t like that idea? How about we stop complaining about what children are taught (or not taught) in schools and kick educators right in the seat of their pants with a big, honking check?

I’ve a friend in Idaho that told me an awful story of parents who could barely afford to send their children to private schools. But they did it because the public education system where she lives is one of the worst in the country.

Our publicly generated fund, however, means new books, extra curricular activities and tutors on an as-needed basis for everyone. It doesn’t get any better than that.

OK, I sense hesitation. Next idea — contributions to law enforcement and national defense. America is badly losing the war on drugs, is in an infinite cycle with the war in Iraq and let’s not even talk about the Battle of the Bulge. The latter isn’t an actual physical conflict, I know. But face it, we’re a fat country.

So with the CDDF, all our problems will wash away when a few buttons are pressed and some criminals are handcuffed. It’s simple.

Hate that, too? I’m running out of options here, people.

Here is my absolute last resort. How about none of us cheat on our taxes? I know it’s the most far-fetched thing I’ve proposed this entire time, but it may do the trick.

We all know the government gets first dibs on our income, and we all hate it. Period. But the government still has to do business, even if it means we pay a little more than the next person.

So be honest, unless you want to be the person designated to deliver the cashier’s check to the government.