The List/Top magazines for sports fans
Published 12:00 am Monday, July 9, 2007
Just for kicks, I like to go to bookstores and see what kinds of magazines are on the racks.
Each time I go, I’m shocked at how much I’m shocked.
Not only is the variety of topics to choose from endless, but people are pretty much shameless about what they will put on those glossy little pages.
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For instance, there are magazines dedicated solely to hair; writing pens; tattoos; watches; the consumption, cultivation and acquisition of marijuana; and alternative and home medicines.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I literally find a new topic every time I go. Which is either a sign that I don’t go to bookstores often enough or people have way, WAY too much time on their hands.
And then I got to thinking …
What if there were magazines dedicated to the endless subplots in sports? Hmmm…
We’ll explore the possibility of giving information-greedy fans even more when we go down “The List.”
6. Coach’s Corner – Imagine 150 pages of space dedicated solely to the goings-on of big-time play callers.
It could feature such interesting articles as “You need more than Xs and Os,” “Midnight is my 6 a.m.” and “Why pot bellies are important.”
The feature this month – “The Wish-Washers,” complete with full-page photos and stories on Billy Donovan and Jim Wells.
5. Crybaby – This will be home base for all the jocks that want to gripe about contracts, unappreciative fans and the trouble groupies cause.
4. Cheaters anonymous – A haven for sports figures that want to get something off their chests guilt-free. No fancy stories here; just a mag chock full of regretful letters from the guys that did things the wrong way.
“Bob A.” from Nevada writes: “Yea, we bought the kid a house so he’d come to our school. But what’s a mortgage payment when you need touchdowns like, yesterday?”
“Joe D.” from Mississippi writes: “No pain, no gain. And let me tell you, those injections hurt like heck.”
3. From the Seats – Oh yes, paying customers have their say.
I especially like the story “Why Cal Ripken Jr. is better than Superman” in the kids-only section. Ahh, yes, so precious.
2. Last stand – Monthly issues dedicated to the final days of late, great coaches.
I imagine one juicy blurb from Vince Lombardi going like this: “You say a couple of things to get your team going all ‘rah-rah,’ and folks find some big social statement in it. I’d have made out better as President.”
1. Mascots Monthly – Even those with fur, claws and obscenely animated muscles need a voice in the world.
Apologies for not coming through on the story on “Aubie.” Halfway through the interview, we realized he didn’t have vocal chords.
George L. Jones is sports editor of The Selma Times-Journal. He can be reached at (334) 410-1744 or email@example.com&.