Column/Top things that I miss about sports

Published 12:00 am Sunday, August 20, 2006

I wonder at what age other people start considering you to be old-school.

Take me, for example. I’m in my mid-20s and I already miss things that happened a couple of years ago. But when I mention the same things to someone under 18, I may as well be speaking Victorian English.

Change is a great thing, but some stuff should never fade away entirely.

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You’ll know about all the things I hated to see go and some things I want back when we go down “The List.”

5. Michael Jordan – People all laughed at me when I told them Air would come back a couple of years after his last stint with the Bulls. They shut up.

They all laughed at me when I told them I was afraid he was the last player on earth who truly knew how to play the game well. Silence.

I bash the NBA all the time, but believe it or not, I used to love the league. Now the only things keeping it afloat are a handful of one-in-a-billion 20-somethings and a squat commissioner that sees the value in sharing a market with the Food Network.

As Marv Albert would say: Yes!

4. Informed fans – As much as I love Sportscenter, it has become the media version of McDonald’s. It has fed the gluttonous nature of people while dangling cheap and easy wares in front of their faces.

People have taken advantage of the fact that information is too easy to come by.

I’m not really pointing a finger because I watch ESPN every day and eat fast food almost as often.

But I’m not Joe Fan.

Joe Fan doesn’t know how to read a box score in a newspaper, isn’t happy unless there is an excessive amount of scoring at every game and doesn’t realize that he was the person who had the power to stop steroids in sports all along.

3. Venus and Serena Williams – Seriously, where are they? I don’t hear anything about them anymore. They’re either injured, or not performing well or this or that.

Come one ladies. We need the cat suits. We need your crazy dad. We need the flavor you bring to the game. But above all, we need the cat suits.

2. Politically incorrect athletes – I’m sick and tired of hearing people in interviews measuring and timing every word they utter. I understand there are a handful of stupid people that will take the most harmless thing you do or say wrong. But be real, man.

Where’s Dennis Rodman and his seven other freakish alter egos? Where’s Brandi Chastain ripping off her shirt in front of the entire world? And most importantly, where’s Mike Price’s live-life-to-the-fullest attitude?

On second thought, let’s strike Mike Price off the list.

1. The bunt play – Why, why in the world would you not take advantage of a simple offensive act in a game where simple offensive acts are hard to come by?

Move a guy over, get him 90 feet closer to scoring – simple.

But no. We gotta use every out because nobody beyond the three-hole can hit for average. We gotta have second basemen that hit 30 home runs.

George L. Jones is sports editor for The Selma Times-Journal. He can be reached at .