Too much reality

Published 12:00 am Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Okay sports fans it’s official there are way too many reality televisions shows.

Think about it.

There are shows ranging from making over someone’s body to trickin’ out a trucker’s rig, from a has-been rapper’s quest for love to a has-been wrestler’s quest to wrangle in his family.

But, the sad thing is that the television industry missed one big opportunity for a reality show.

The network execs could have made beaucoup millions with this reality show. All they had to do was name it &8220;Building Barry Bonds.&8221;

The announcer could stride into the camera with a field of baseball players fielding grounders, taking hacks at fastballs and working on the mechanics.

The voiceover guy, in a commanding tone, could say something like: &8220;Many people think this is how to make a baseball player better and fundamentally sound.&8221;

Then the screen could turn to a lab where various vials, needles, pills and creams are laid out on a table with Barry Bonds inspecting each one.

The voiceover guy could come back and say: &8220;But, in today’s game it’s not about being fundamentally sound.

The screen can cut to multiple shots of Barry Bonds blaming everyone from the media, to his trainer to the peanut vender in Row 7, Section 3 of Pacific Bell Park for his reasons not to play baseball.

Now, I know that I should stop giving Bonds the business for his willingness to torque and change and mutate his body just to put an extra 100 feet on a swing.

I’m going to say these two things and then I’ll drop it.

First, every record that Bonds set &045; with the exception of most walks in a season &045; should be negated and removed from the books because the substances that he was using was banned and he knew they were banned.

And secondly, just because you’re Barry Bonds, doesn’t mean that you are just going to walk onto a WBC team mid-Classic.

Can I have &8220;Giant snub&8221; for $300, Alex.

When the U.S. team was playing in Scottsdale, Ariz., at the WBC, Barry Bonds, who declined an invitation to play on the squad, was joking around with the fellows and mentioned to coach Buck Martinez that he would like to join the squad if they made it to the second round.

I don’t think Martinez let the words escape Bonds’ lips before he put him in his place and told him that his roster was full and it wouldn’t make any sense to cut a player at this stage in the season to put him back on the list.

Small victories.

Spike TV has started airing this great show on Monday night’s called &8220;Pros vs. Joes.&8221;

This is great because it gives guys with absolutely no athletic ability, I have a little left, I’m not a neverwas yet, the opportunity to go toe-to-toe with the Pros.

The first episode, Joes were asked to catch passes and try to cover Jerry Rice, out-rebound Dennis Rodman and take grounders from Matt Williams.

This week, the Joe’s had to hit a Jenny Finch fastball, get blasted by Bill Romanowski and out run a throw from Bo Jackson.

The funny thing about the show is how diluted the Joes are.

I mean think about it. These guys are thinking that they are as good as the Pros.

Are they insane or just functionally stupid?

Oh well, America will tune each week to see whom gets embarrassed by the professional.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it. That’s why I watch the show.

I enjoy seeing some poor schmo get brushed back by an Olympian’s rising fastball or getting absolutely drilled by a guy with a Super Bowl ring.

It’s that simple.