Thanking Santa with milk and cookies
Last year, a few of you might remember my rant toward Santa Claus concerning a blown 24-point lead in a certain rivalry game.
This year, the fat man more than made up for that with a blowout, yes blowout, in the 2011 Iron Bowl and return trip to the national championship game.
I guess there is a reason he wears red.
At any rate, I’d like to personally apologize to Santa, and I figured with Christmas so close, this would be a good time to get it out of the way.
So here you go St. Nick, I am sorry.
I’m sorry I blamed you for conservative play-calling in the second half. I’m sorry I blamed you for a team that was obviously willing to rest on the best two quarters of football it played all season. I’m sorry I blamed you for missed opportunities and fumbles. I’m sorry I called you a yankee just because you are form the North Pole. I see now that I was wrong.
With that said, I’d also like to thank you for the events that took place on that lovely November Saturday and the weeks leading up.
Thank you for keeping any others with Cam Newton potential off of the Auburn roster. I’m sure you had to ignore a lot of Christmas wishes to make that happen. Thanks for sticking to your guns. At the same time, the NCAA investigation I asked for left a lot to be desired, so let’s call this one even.
Back to the Thank You list. Your cooperation during the Iron Bowl was greatly appreciated and will be handsomely rewarded with milk and cookies. If you need any other beverages to take the edge off, let me know. We’ll keep it on the down low. I love saying that.
Finally, thank you for making all the chips fall into place. It could easily have been Stanford, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, Oregon or Boise State heading to New Orleans for a Jan. 9 showdown. I immediately asked you to sabotage their seasons after the Alabama-LSU game and you delivered. You are the man.
Maybe if the other kids that pull for those schools had been as well behaved as yours truly, they’d be the ones cheering right now.
Take that as a lesson, Cowboys, Sooners, Ducks, Broncos and Cardinal. You have to act right 365 days a year to get what you want.
Well, that’s about it fats. Can I call you fats? I feel like we’re pretty close now. Thanks again for everything. I’ll hit you up again next year with a new list of wishes and apologies.