Even when you disagree, don’t hate

Published 10:09pm Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I’m utterly flabbergasted that despite the current economic condition of Selma, most people I see or meet look like they belong to ‘the association of the blessed and highly favored people’ or ‘the association of people who let God fight their battles’; or even ‘the association of those that fall and get back up.” Almost everybody is forming an association these days but that’s not the rationale for my interest. Some associations get my attention based on their mission and vision. Be careful what you name your association because it says a lot about the association. For some associations a name can very well serve as a mission and vision statement.

Let’s form, “the association of people who disagree but hate not.” Some may think I’m trying to be funny, but this association will help to shed light to the fact that it is understandable and at times meaningful to disagree, yet still not hate. Disagreement becomes futile if nothing is learned from it. When we argue over an issue, it is pertinent that we not assume that our opponent is not capable of being right. When we are open when fighting for what we are certain to be right, it makes it possible for us to come up with a concrete solution. Sometimes I have amended or changed my position, despite stern disagreement, on issues on the school board, in my job, church matters, in my family, etc. just for the sake of openness to our overall mission and for the voice that matters most — God’s voice. God is the only one whose yes today should be yes forever because He is omniscient, all-knowing and ubiquitous.

Those who are familiar with my books or close to me know about my, “plan to unplan for effectiveness” which stresses that it may be unwise to stick with a status quo or just the way things used to be even when it is no longer helpful. When an issue or case comes before us in our professional or non-professional capacity, it is easy for us to make conclusions based on what we already know. In my case, I’ll pray in addition to the ongoing prayer of God’s people.

Moreover I will try to be empathetic by trying to put that person, a parent for example, in my shoes.

If the outcome of the internalization and waiting demands that I change my mind, I will change my mind. This does not mean that those in disagreement did not pray but it only assures me of my role in that situation.

When people disagree with you, particularly those not in your group or clique, do not hate them and make decisions accordingly. Biased decisions can steal from a school system or other organization and consequently deny them essential ingredients for proper growth.

We must also not be jealous by any attention drawn by our colleagues or others and focus on our own strength for it is our own gift and uniqueness that will be instrumental to our consequential expansion.

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